“Umm… I need time to think”
Everything has been going great with this new lady you’ve met. She’s funny, hot, and can really keep up with you. This is the good life. But then she says she wants to talk. That’s never a good sign. Even though the topic is meant to be upbeat, you’re just trapped in a corner because she says she wants to get serious. It happens to the best of us, but you thought that you could escape it a little bit longer. Getting more serious with her will mean that you’ll be her legit boyfriend. Not just the guy she’s dating or having sex with. There will be new responsibilities like buying her tampons and being there when she needs someone to yell at. It’s not awesome, but you’ve got to deal with it. Here’s how:
Prepare Your Argument
You’re going to have to have something to say immediately since this is a talk, but that doesn’t mean you have to address the issue. The best response that you can have is to thank her for her feelings and tell her that you want to take time to process this. You don’t have to literally say “Thanks for feeling that way”, instead try the more subtle “I really love that you are so committed to our relationship, but I need some time to think about this.” You’re still answering her, but you’re not saying a decisive yes or no. She might be a little bit frustrated and shunned, so make sure to comfort her by telling her how much you care. It seems very overboard and cheesy, but this is one of the few times in life that calls for such a thing.
Start Your Retreat
“Start ignoring her”
This is assuming the fact that you don’t actually want to get so hot and heavy right now. Most guys might freak out and stop texting her or just drop it altogether, but that’s not a cool move and you end up losing the woman that you like so much. Instead you need to start gradually retreating. Instead of texting her every day, try every other day. If you’re always blowing up each other’s phones then you can even start out by limiting your texts to 10 a day. The whole point is to slowly communicate less. You can still talk to her, but avoid giving her every detail of the day. If you are sleeping over at each other’s houses now would be the time to stop. That’s a huge sign that you two are deeper than just a typical dating couple. Sharing such an intimate part of your lives does take you to the next level. Instead leave her house late or just hang out in the evening.
Get Ready for Another Talk
She will no doubt notice that you are not as affectionate or communicative as you were before, so get ready for another talk. This time you shouldn’t have any issues for backing up what you’re saying. Letting her know that you like the pace your at will establish that this is the appropriate timing and seriousness can come in later.