Breaking up is never easy. It’s even harder when you’re ending an affair. Contrary to popular belief, there isn’t much risk in a steady, ongoing affair. It’s when you’re trying to end things that you’re at the most risk. Here at the pitfalls when you’re breaking up with a woman who’s got all the dirt on you.
Can She Blackmail You
Basically, is there anyway that she could tell everyone (including your wife or girlfriend) that she had an affair with you and come out smelling like roses? If possible, you want to be with a woman who can’t really come forward about the affair. Whether she’s married too, or she has some other compromising thing that you could tell the world about her, the specifics don’t matter. It just means that it’s always best to have some counter blackmail material to encourage her to accept a break up with grace instead of a tantrum and attempt to ruin your life.
If she can blackmail you, you need to go out of your way to make the break up as easy as possible. We’ll share more on that later.
Is There Cause for Revenge
Be really honest here for a moment. Does she have cause to want to get revenge on you? Did you maybe let her think that you were single, or that you could do something for her that you couldn’t do? Did she give up a career opportunity to be with you? If there’s a legitimate reason for her to try to get revenge on you after a break up you need to know that going in. She’s going to be gunning for you, so take steps to minimize the damage she could do before you even mention breaking up with her. Still, the last thing, you want to do is to keep holding the tiger by the tail. Eventually, you have to take the risk and end the unsatisfactory relationship.
Get Her to Dump You
By far, the safest way to end your affair is to get her to dump you. You don’t want to turn into a total jerk (because you don’t want to give her a cause for revenge), but very slowly just become a worse and worse lover. Be a little more selfish in bed. Stop paying for dates and start making the two of you go Dutch-or just “forget” your wallet every now and then. By degrees become the kind of guy that she can’t stand. If she’s against drinking, start having two cocktails with dinner every single time you go out. Sooner or later, she’s not going to be able to take it anymore. It sucks and it’s rough, but she’ll end things with you and you can go on with your life without having to worry that she’s behind every corner waiting to blab about your affair.
Whatever you do when you’re breaking up with a woman you had an affair with, always be kind about it. You definitely don’t want to piss her off. Once you’ve broken up with her she has nothing to lose.